Fixations

“Our constant quest to micro-manage our own comfort and happiness can itself become a source of great unhappiness” Jeff Warren

I do a guided meditation every morning via an app on my phone.  Sometimes they hit the spot, sometimes not, but they are always interesting and a good way to support a meditation habit.  The other morning, it was about fixations.  Fixations, in this context, are things that we slightly obsess over, micro-manage, or get a bit too focused on while we are doing something different.

While I was sitting there, straight-backed and eyes closed, I realised I have a fixation.  In fact, I have several.  Usually triggered by habits or locations.  For example, every time I meditate I think about the retreat I’m going on in a few weeks' time.  I find myself, despite my best meditative intentions, planning and plotting and worrying and obsessing about what’s going to happen and how I will cope with various things - how I’ll fit in my morning exercise, what the food will be like, how I’m going to get up of the meditation cushions with my dodgy knee.  This morning I was worrying about how to say hello to people.  At age 50+, I’ve successfully met hundreds of people.  So why am I so bothered about it now?  And then, once I have finished meditating I totally forget about it again until the next time I meditate.  

Another trigger for a fixation is whenever the cat comes upstairs for a cuddle.  She gets onto the end of the bed, and I lie beside her and have a cat cuddle; lovely and relaxing and we both enjoy it.  Whenever the cat cuddle happens, however, I think about a couple of people I have coached in the past and think about how I should get in touch to see how they are getting on and how awful I am for not doing it before now.  It’s not a problem really, just a passing thought, but I wish I could enjoy the cuddle with the cat a bit more.  Then, when the cat cuddle is over, I get up and forget about doing anything about contacting my coachees until the next cat cuddle.

So how do I interrupt this trigger - thought connection to help me focus on what I’m actually doing in the moment, not planning, thinking, or worrying?  In the best traditions of mindfulness, perhaps the key is noticing and being kind to myself.  By noting the thoughts, can I break the cycle?  Of course, I could contact the venue for my retreat and find out the answers to my worries, or contact my coachees, but it’s the repetition of the thoughts linked to the activity that I want to break. So what else can I do?

It’s a work in progress, but I am finding that noticing my thoughts, forgiving myself for thinking of them in the first place, and thanking them for being there allows me the time and space to turn my mind to focus on something else. I can re-centre on my breath or the ticking of the clock if I am meditating, the gentle pleasure of a cat cuddle, or whatever. The thoughts are still there, but the repetitive fixation is lessening.

Here at Rise&Bloom, we can support you to find your way of focusing your mind, and making the most of relaxing.

It is really important that if you are troubled by your thoughts, worried about what you are thinking about, or your thoughts are intrusive, that you seek medical support from your GP.

Love

Jen

Rise&Bloom